What Went Unsaid

 

Image from: https://www.facebook.com/digitalchristian

Today, I just announced on Facebook that I plan on quitting it for a while. I have been trying to do that for several months now but the need to be connected, to see what others are doing, what they may be thinking, to share this “awesome” part of me that just screams to be shared… these are the reasons that stop me every time I decide to quit.

I am a certified Facebook junkie. If I had the beauty and the body, I probably would be posting ‘selfies’ too. All I have is my brainy-brag moments. I just love to brag!(and not in a good way too).

However, Facebook sometimes depresses me. Every time I see negative status updates, war declarations, petty quarrels, and angry tirades, I just feel depress all the time.Every time I see people my age post pictures of their babies, handsome husbands and pretty wives (of course they are beautiful people, they found partners after all)I just feel pea-green with jealousy. Pictures of travels to foreign places just make me downright envious that often, I would feel bad for myself. And I would end up crying myself to sleep all because good ol’ me has not left the Philippines after all (and yes, I would forget to pray too).

For the past years, Facebook has become an open journal of certain thoughts I don’t share to people personally. What I could have told my learners, friends, my brothers and sisters,co-workers,  I end up posting to the whole world – and those words don’t mean much to those who read them and those who matter don’t always end up reading them.

I believe I just replaced my book addiction with online addiction. And I don’t feel alive doing that. I just feel like I need my Facebook fix or else…

But there’s the good side to Facebook too. The pages and posts dedicated to Christ always uplift my soul. I would miss them. I would miss my Facebook friends whom I stalk simply because I want to witness their secret relationship with the Lord and I want to see what make them so different from mere weak mortals like me. I would miss posting my thoughts too and believing that my little ideas, insights and realizations are making a difference in someone else’s life just as what the Facebook posts of those Ate’s and Kuya’s from SFC has done with my days.

I would miss the soul-inspiring digital works of art from several Facebook pages too. They enliven my desktop every day.

I would still keep blogging but for now, I long to spend time with the One who matters and its definitely not Zuckey’s baby.