After completing the Christian Life Program of the CFC-SFC
last year and during the Lord’s Day last August 28, 2011, we were given our SFC
tool kit containing a sort of welcome note, the CFC guidelines for business
dealings between or among members, the SFC Bible Reading Guide, a one-year
reading guide for reading through the new testament, an ID, and a little
booklet thingy which enumerates the Covenant of the CFC Singles for Christ.
Here is what is written in that covenant.
Trusting in the Lord’s help and guidance:
1. I shall live as a follower of Christ:
·
Pray daily for at least 15 minutes
·
Read Scriptures daily for at least 15 minutes
·
Live a righteous life and avoid situations which
are occasions for sin.
·
Put good order into my private life and support
my parents in building a Christian family.
·
Participate regularly in the worship life of my
church.
2. I will work towards the evangelization and transformation
of my work place, my family and my community:
·
Put good order in my work situation
·
Be a witness of the love and power of the Lord
Jesus in my work and in my family
·
Be a good steward of all resources entrusted to
me.
·
Be a good citizen of my country, obeying its
laws and protecting its environment.
3. I will be a committed and active member of the CFC
Singles for Christ:
·
Attend my small group meetings regularly and
support the good order of the meetings.
·
Faithfully participate in all the activities of
the group.
·
Relate in love, loyalty to and respect for all
my brothers and sisters in the Lord.
·
Intercede daily for the group and its mission.
4. I will make myself available to the Lord for service:
·
Bring other single men and women to Christ.
·
Give generously of my time and resources to the
Lord’s service, whenever I am called and follow directions of those who have
responsibility for the service.
·
Support the work of Couples for Christ and its
ministries.
5. I will study and seek to grow as a Christian person:
·
Attend all teachings, retreats, seminars and
conferences of the CFC Singles for Christ.
·
Diligently study all materials given to me.
May the Lord Jesus Christ help me
to be faithful in living out this commitment everyday for His greater honor and
glory and for the good of my brothers and sisters.
_____________________________________________
Signature
Until now, I have not yet signed
the covenant because of certain fears, and certain issues that I have not yet
clarified. I told myself I was not ready to follow it. In fact, I am not the
only one who has not signed the covenant. I know several brothers and sisters
who have not signed theirs because of the fear and the doubts that clouds the
heart – maybe, I can’t live up to the covenant, I am afraid of disappointing
the Lord, I am not good enough, I am
unworthy, I am not strong enough…
We only see the bottom line – the
blank that requires our signature. I did too. I keep seeing the back flap of
the booklet every time I attempt to sign. It seems to mock me in my humanity,
my weakness…
History shows how many times
covenants have failed. In fact, man seems to be predesigned to fail God most of
the time. We have so many custom-made excuses for our failure to obey Him. I am
only human, we say. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. No wonder SFC
newbies are afraid to sign this covenant. It asks us too much. And we want to
have the excuse that if we did fail, we can only say that we have not signed
anything – but this, this contract is very clear in its stipulations.
However, in all our worldly fears,
we seem to have forgotten a statement at the beginning.
It says: TRUSTING IN THE LORD”S
HELP AND GUIDANCE…I WILL…
I would never have signed this
covenant… until yesterday’s exposition with our retreat master, Sr. Rose of the
Carmelite Missionary.
Last Saturday, I was made to face
my fears and my pains and there were a great many of them. They led to a
feeling of numbness, a “deadness” inside that festered and affected my growth
as a child of God. I took on roles and lived fixedly to those roles all the
while thinking that if I let my masks slip, the world will reject me. I became
the selfless daughter, the workaholic government employee, the patient teacher,
the generous sister, the nice friend… but they were all on the surface. It was
not me, not who I am. The self, according to Sister Rose, has four layers. We
have the outer layer, the role self (the masks we wear), then we have the
natural self, the actual self, and the true self.
It pained me to realize that I
never really progressed from the outer layer. My actions, the things I do,
never really came close to who I am. And this has destroyed all semblance of
self-knowledge. I was a broken person, someone who barely knows who she is.
The fears and the pain clouded
everything in me that despite all endeavours, I never really felt God’s love…until
yesterday morning when His love, his amazing love, destroyed me…or who I
thought I was.
He loves me. I felt it. His
tremendous love humbles me and drives me to my knees time and again. I do not
need to feel rejection because He loves me. And that is all that matters. His
love.
So today, (err, I wanted to wait
until Sunday but I want to sign this today), I will be signing my personal
covenant with the God who loves me. I am not perfect. I am not strong enough. I
am not worthy and no matter what I do, I will never be worthy of that love He
has for me. To wait until I become worthy, perfect and strong enough will be to
wait forever.
But, He has promised to help me. He
has promised to hold my right hand. And I will always turn to Him when things
go wrong and I start reverting to my masks.
I will trust Him, trust in His
love.
