My Evil: The Seeker Up Close and Personal

Everytime I think of those two words, I remember Adel.

My Evil was the title of her poem ( if poem should have titles). Those words stuck to me like glue over the yeas.

I responded to those words in a way that one respond to a sad song. I keep remembering it and I keep pondering on it.

My Evil? How evil am I? And what kind of evil do I honestly posses? Can I kill another in a fit of rage? Will I go berserk if I do not get my way? Will I be able to forgive once someone hurts me in a way that no one ever did?

No one can ever really know the extent of once evil until he tries to resist temptation. Like the apostle Paul,I have my own stumbling block, my own personal secret sin that I have never confessed to anyone.

It is my source of embarrassment and brings about a sense of guilt that is difficult to assuage.

It humbles me, though and keeps me empathetic of the imperfections of others.

When I started reading the Bible, I realized the extent of My Evil. How? There was this particular passage in the Bible which tells us that you will only know how strong or weak you are if you resist temptation.

Succumbing to temptation is easy. Consciously fighting it and running away from it is the difficult part.

And i realized how willing, how ready and how eager I am to succumb to my evil everytime I am tempted. It is so easy to backbite, to speak bad words, to talk ill, to be angry. They all have become a way of life to all of us.

Afterwards, I would feel so guilty and sad.

Sin does not separate us from God. It only makes fellowship with God impossible. Because after we sin, we would feel so unworthy and would hesitate to come to Him. By then, we would have to start from scratch.

God always reaches out for us. But, it is up to us to grasp the hand He holds out to us. How would you feel shaking hands with some royal dignitary using your dirty hands?

Old Thoughts, New Perspective

I am writing without a script now.

I spent most of this morning reading a booklet I got from The Good News Magazine. It is all about Christ and how true He is.

When I was in college, I have come to a point in my life when I had started to disbelieve the existence of God.

Without God, all this nonsense about being good and trying to live a decent life is quite useless...

It was in the summer of my sophomore year, unfortunately, when I started a barrage of arguments for atheism.

Then, two years later. My life was suddenly turned upside down. The tumbling it took was such that I eagerly contemplated suicide.

Then, God intervened. He made me feel His presence, His hand in every aspect of my life that I was left in no doubt about His existence.

God exists. I was too blind and ignorant to see it when He was really everywhere around me.

The next round of trouble came to focus though.

How about Jesus?

what is the role that He plays in my life? Did He exist? Is He God?

When I was young, I used to have a crush on the child Jesus. When I grew up, easter films on Jesus' death made me cry.

Howeverm Jesus remained a hazy historical figure often used to earn movie bucks and guilt trip non-practicing Christian.

Until several Bible courses through unexpected sources made me realize that I was, once more, wrong.

Now, with this Booklet, I now believe that Jesus is God.

That is progress, right?

I believe in God. I also believe Jesus is a God?

Now, the new questions is: What is Jesus' connection or relationship to God?

And no, I do not want the traditional answer, the ones men made to make things easier. No, I will wait for God to lead me to the answer.

He never failed me.

My life, all along, is an interconnected course or study on God and Christ.

And yes, I have opened my mind to all possibilities, my ear for any answers and my heart for accepting whatever He reveals.

To God be the glory.

The Seeker: A New Beginning

I named this new blog after the New Testament Bible I bought last month.

It is actually a New Living Translation Bible. One that subscribes to the dynamic or functional equivalence theory of translating the Bible. Unlike the universally used King James translation which subscribes to the other theory, the formal equivalence theory, The New Living Translation of the Bible delivers the Biblical verses in their modern day translation or in the context of today's world

I have been reading this Bible for weeks now coupled with some references and Bible workbook from a student who luckily received a sort of 2-week lecture from an Australian missionary.

And yes, I was compelled to blog out my thoughts and feelings regarding my spiritual journey as I search for God...and as He reaches out for me.

In here, I will try to get lost in my own soul with Jesus leading me of course since He has walked this particular path once. Getting lost in the world is a little bit disorienting s I'll try this new journey.

No, I am not a perfect person. Because then, I would not be needing Christ wouldn't I? I am a sinner, sometimes, one who is very willing to succumb to temptation.

Anyway, I am inviting all of you guys to join me as I venture onward to a new beginning. I am also inviting all of you to listen to dybs. It is a very enlightening radio station, one that is wholly devoted to God.