Everytime I think of those two words, I remember Adel.
My Evil was the title of her poem ( if poem should have titles). Those words stuck to me like glue over the yeas.
I responded to those words in a way that one respond to a sad song. I keep remembering it and I keep pondering on it.
My Evil? How evil am I? And what kind of evil do I honestly posses? Can I kill another in a fit of rage? Will I go berserk if I do not get my way? Will I be able to forgive once someone hurts me in a way that no one ever did?
No one can ever really know the extent of once evil until he tries to resist temptation. Like the apostle Paul,I have my own stumbling block, my own personal secret sin that I have never confessed to anyone.
It is my source of embarrassment and brings about a sense of guilt that is difficult to assuage.
It humbles me, though and keeps me empathetic of the imperfections of others.
When I started reading the Bible, I realized the extent of My Evil. How? There was this particular passage in the Bible which tells us that you will only know how strong or weak you are if you resist temptation.
Succumbing to temptation is easy. Consciously fighting it and running away from it is the difficult part.
And i realized how willing, how ready and how eager I am to succumb to my evil everytime I am tempted. It is so easy to backbite, to speak bad words, to talk ill, to be angry. They all have become a way of life to all of us.
Afterwards, I would feel so guilty and sad.
Sin does not separate us from God. It only makes fellowship with God impossible. Because after we sin, we would feel so unworthy and would hesitate to come to Him. By then, we would have to start from scratch.
God always reaches out for us. But, it is up to us to grasp the hand He holds out to us. How would you feel shaking hands with some royal dignitary using your dirty hands?
