Wild Wanderings 1

My wandering started years ago. When I was ten, I traveled the route of the unguided curious toddler in the faith. Unless you count the really toddler years when I was forced to hear mass and endure staring through the black and white veils of my grandmother's cohorts.

I read the Old Testament in search of stories. I read and never understood the Book of Revelation simply because a friend told me about "the number" and the "end of the world". I read the first of the Gospels and failed to appreciate the good news. But then, I do remember having a huge crush on Jesus because of the movie "A Child Called Jesus". Jesus remained a child in my mind and he never really grew up for me. I prefered recalling the cute boy who played that role.  As is common with me, I got bored with the whole thing a few months later.

Then, there were the moments of the fervent and "misguided" religious. During my teens, I think I joined all sorts of organizations in the Church back then. I was with the Youth Ministry, the Jerusalem Choir, the Children of Mary of the Miraculous Medal, the Youth for Christ (one weekend only), the St. William Parish Choir...

It only took me two years to get bored of the whole exercise. I decided to go solo after that. Be a regular spectator, not to get involved. Just hear mass now and then.

And then, during college, I learned of atheism. Philosophical preoccupations led me to this weird walk. I started rationalizing God. I started reading a book on Philosophy, read the arguments for atheism and failed to read the ones for theism. Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing, indeed. Drink deep or taste not the ....(forgot the exact word)  spring.